Monday, January 26, 2009

The Argument You'll Ever Have in Your Relationship

The first argument is the most crucial argument you will ever have, setting the stage for all arguments to follow. Future conflicts will often look and sound like they're different, but most times they are simply variations of the first, unresolved argument. Understanding that the first argument is a tool for healing, rather than just a random conflict, can spare yourself years of grief, hopelessness and helplessness in your relationship.

Dating Tip #1: Get to the Core
Minimizing the chaos, confusion and stress in your relationship, therefore, is accomplished by understanding what you're really arguing about. The first argument teaches what is important to each individual, by linking back to each other's underlying core issue. You may be fooled into thinking that you're arguing about cookies, wastebaskets, fences, etc., but rarely are these "content" issues the "real" issue. The real issue is your core issue from childhood that gets unknowingly triggered by the content issue.

Dating Tip #2: Strive for Clarity
Somehow, we often think that repeating the same things that have never worked will suddenly work, and our partner will miraculously understand! It doesnt make sense, but we do it anyway.

Dating Tip #3: Solve Big Ones Before Small Ones
Understanding the value and importance of the first argument as a tool to self-knowledge can reduce stress. When you start to argue and hear yourself repeating the same sentences that don't work, going back to your tools of self-awareness will create a framework for resolving conflict. Small issues are connected to bigger issues, and the first argument reveals our bigger, core issues from the past. Once the big issue is revealed, the small issue can then be determined.

Dating Tip #3: Be "Current"
When conflict is resolved, stress is reduced and you have the ability to be current with each other. Being "current" means you're in the moment with few unresolved matters clouding the relationship. The more current a relationship is, the healthier it is.
Dating Tip #4: Repair It Now
Remember that when dealt with, the first argument is small. When put aside, it becomes bigger and bigger to the point of being overwhelming and unsolvable. Each time we fight, we hurt each other a little bit more, until we've damaged each other and the relationship. Once this has happened, it's hard to regain the good feelings we once had for each other.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Celebrity Couple,Julianne Moore dishes about Marriage

Julianne Moore doesn't believe in red roses on Valentine's Day.

"It's more important for us to make time to see each other during the year,We don't schedule it, but we make an effort to have some time alone." the actress tells her husband, director Bart Freundlich.

The couple, who have been together 12 years and married five, are raising their kids, Caleb, 11, and Liv, 6, in New York City.

A typical day at home involves dinner, homework and bath time. "They're allowed to watch TV only on weekends," she says.

The actress is also care about Hollywood's obsession to weight. "Of course, I diet for roles; everyone does,When you're younger, you're always working for something, and now you realize, this is really it,You'd better be enjoying this, because this is pretty good." said the 48 years old beautiful actress.